I've had feelings in the past of wanting to escape the "intellectual" world, but really it's the cynicism i've wanted to escape, the nihilism and pessimism, and the constant critiquing. It's all fine and good if you choose to allow information to be enlightening, and to keep yourself humble simultaneously. It creates an inspired sort of life, fulfilling, and ever changing. i've come to terms lately with the fact that there is a balance between cynicism and appreciation, intellect and gratitude. It's all too easy to let one outweigh the other, but which is more important? I guess i'd rather be grateful than smart. AND SO i've abandoned trying to be or seem smart. It seems that i've allowed intelligence to stunt my creativity in the past. Instead, i want to live again moment by moment, like a kid you know, using primarily my perceptions, but keeping an open mind. It's liberating, and i've found that its just as easy to learn when you dont care about being smart as when you do. Here is an example, and it;s a TRUE story!: there was this basketball player (i dont remember his name, my dad told me this story) who made 95% of his shots. He was accepted into the pros, but as soon as he began pro training, he started thinking too much about his shots, and his accuracy decreased dramatically. Now, he only makes something like 40% or something. In an interview, he said it was because he started thinking about it instead of just doing it. I think this goes to show that analysis can get in the way of just living.

Next time you are in the library at MNSU, which is where i am, look at the ceiling. Look across the ceiling, at all the lights. There are a lot of lights. Much more lights than people. They should make motion lights, so that each person has one light that stays on above them. They'd have to make signs that say ONE LIGHT PER PERSON! so that you wouldn't use like, a block of four lights, sit in the middle of all of them. And as you walked across the library, the lights would follow you, which would be kind of like the billie jean michael jackson music video, except he is walking across a sidewalk of lights.

On this note, i think it is gross to think about Las Vegas. All those lights and people with no spark.


asset is my name spelled backwards.
od uoy ekil ot etirw sdrawkcab?
backwards write to like you do?
3< T
T ♥